12 Weeks- Update YO!

How far along? 12w2d

Babies are the size of: Two plumbs and up to 3" each.  :)

Total weight gain I still haven't gotten back up to my pre-pregnancy weight but I have a feeling it's coming.  I'm finally eating more!

Maternity clothes: Uhm yes please.  Everything feels like it cuts me off right in the middle, and if it's not stretchy lounge pants forget it.  Works pants are becoming interesting!

Stretch marks: Thank god no!

Sleep: Still doing good here.

Best moment this week? Last week we had our first appointment with my regular OB.  The place is awesome and so is my doc.  We got the low-down on what to expect: being seen every 4 weeks PLUS an ultrasound every time :)  Anatomy scan in 6-8 weeks. Got some samples for smaller pre-natal vitamins (I've been gagging down my regulars).  The belly is starting to come out!

Miss anything? SUSHI!  There is almost not a day that goes by that I'm not pining for sushi.  I don't like the deep-fried, cooked rolls so I'm pretty much SOL.  Sad face.

Movement: Ha, not even close.

Food cravings:  Naked steak queso burrito from Qdoba, with the tortilla on the side shredded up in the bowl.  Yes, that specific!

Have you started to show yet? It's starting!  I still get quite the "food baby" after eating, but I'm having to unbutton my work pants and I'm rounding out I think.

Gender: 6-8 weeks until the anatomy scan!

Belly button in or out? In still, but I am getting that donut look under my shirts.  So not cute.

Wedding rings: on or off? ON!

Looking forward to: Feeling better!  The MS is pretty much gone- woo!  Funny when I was getting nauseated all day I never threw up.  Now, I throw up almost every morning but I'm not feeling sick.  I'm starting to feel more normal and I'm eating more too.  Looking forward to out next appointment always, and I cannot wait to find out what these babies are!

10 Weeks- Update, YO!

How far along? 10w,3d.  Honestly, every day feels like a milestone.

Babies are the size of: Two strawberries!  1 1/2 inches in length each, they can stretch and roll, and their taste buds are starting to form.

Total weight gain  Well today, I'm about -7 lbs.  I got down to 9lbs lost.  The morning sickness was pretty rough during weeks 7-8, but it's not as bad now.  Now, I get super hungry but NOTHING sounds good. Blech.

Maternity clothes: During one of my fatty-bloat days last weekend I bought a few shirts, one pair of work pants, and one pair of lounge pants.  I am looooving the lounge pants.

Stretch marks: Thank god no!

Sleep: I was literally thinking the other day how awesome it's been that I've been sleeping normally.  Then BAM... 4-6am rolls around and I have to pee so damn bad I'm in pain.

Best moment this week? Going FB public yesterday.  I loved the comments Hubs got on his FB way more than mine!

Miss anything? SUSHI!  There is almost not a day that goes by that I'm not pining for sushi.  I don't like the deep-fried, cooked rolls so I'm pretty much SOL.  Sad face.

Movement: Ha, not even close.

Food cravings: French fries, chocolate milkshakes, and maybe a Taco Bell Cheesy Gordita Crunch.

Have you started to show yet? No not really.  I'm in the awkward fat-pooch looking phase I try to make look like a belly.  LOL.  Some days I look normal and some days there's something there.  I am loving the pregnancy boobs though :)

Gender: We won't be able to tell for quite a while even though the babies fully have their ish developed!

Belly button in or out? In still, but I am getting that donut look under my shirts.  So not cute.

Wedding rings: on or off? ON!

Looking forward to: Our next appointment 10/22.  We've been lucky getting to see the babies every two weeks.  That won't continue so I'm happy we have at least one more coming!  I'm also really looking forward to looking pregnant.  It's hard to explain, but sometimes it feels like I just made the whole thing up or it's not true.  I know I have pictures and I've been sick, but something a little more concrete would make me feel better :)

Two Years, Two Babies

Well the cat is officially out of the bag!  We made it Facebook official yesterday and announced our twin pregnancy.  Prepare to see a lot more blogging from me; I feel like I am finally "free". Fuck Yeah!

Hubs and I decided to start trying to conceive in September 2011.  That was TWO YEARS AGO!  We worked hard to get my Thyroid condition under control as it is medically proven to cause issues.  Still... the months went by.  Struggling with infertility (IF) has been the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life, that we've faced in our marriage, harder than anything I have ever known.  It's a taboo subject rarely talked about in the open yet millions of couples silently suffer.  I was fortunate not only to have the most supportive man possible, but also close friends, my mother, and an on-line community of women who get it.  

IF does not mean your only option is IVF (test-tube babies, anyone?).  That couldn't be farther than the truth and our twins were not conceived through IVF.  I feel like that is important to say so that stereotype can be squashed.  We got really lucky!  After trying for two years (ok well 1 year, 11 months but ehh who's counting?) and suffering a loss, we were blessed with the two-for-one special.  

"At first I was afraid, I was petrified..." I was scared shitless!  I had told hubs over and over, all while laughing at his adamant "NO!" that I wanted twins and wouldn't it be so great and blah, blah, blah.  Then at that first ultrasound we both saw it before the nurse said "No wonder you are getting so sick, there's two!" The next week I was utterly terrified.  What had I gotten myself into?  Was I up for this? Could I do it? Oh god, what was I going to do?  Hubs was excited from the get-go!  Even through my one hysterical break down he has been by my side encouraging and taking care of me.  I knew I loved this man, but the father version of him is beyond anything I could have imagined!

I feel so blessed.  Our babies will always have someone by their side, someone to laugh and play with, someone to fight with, someone to keep them entertained besides Mom and Dad.  I know it will be rough in the beginning but we are soooo up for it!

Four Weeks- Found out we were expecting right before our annual family camping trip!  

BTDubs: non-alcoholic beer is beyond gross.

First u/s at 7w4d.  You're taking a look at baby frog and baby alien!

Hubs got this for my desk at work and surprised me.  I get to see Baby A and Baby B everyday.

First attempt at the weekly bump photos.  That is alll bloat there!

Found a cute app on my phone instead of making a chalkboard.

Second u/s, 9w4d.  So much bigger already!  We still have an alien, but now also a teddy bear.

Or hippo.

Baby A!

Baby B!  Awesome profile shot.

Screw You, Monday!

Well, today sucked.  Lost a team member today.  I say "lost" because she quit...I don't know where she's going or what she's going to do, but she wasn't my "direct report".  It was her choice but I don't think she wasn't un-provoked.  She didn't leave just to spite me.  I say "team member" because damnit, the three of us were a team.  Technically yes, I am a position above, however, I know damn well our tripod wasn't about to stand without a third leg.

I get it, I really do.  I completely understand feeling like enough is enough, and no longer wanting to be in that environment.  Do I think she was in the right to just walk out at 9am this morning?  Hells no!  Do I think lately she's had a rough time and some issues and was struggling? Hells yah.

What is comes down to is this: you fucked us over.  This is the busiest we have EVER been.  30+ job placements a week... I remember when we were doing 9 or 10.  Last week? 54 or some shit.  This week? probably 40.  And now... now... I get to pick up the slack and so does my remaining tripod leg.  We're a little wonky right now.  Like a starfish that is missing a leg... it is still a starfish but you know that shit aint right.

I'm protective of my tripod... I don't want my other remaining leg to feel overwhelmed and under appreciated taking on more work.  I'd rather be stressed and stay late to make sure she is OK and happy.  Is that going going to make a steady tripod?  Probably not, but two unhappy legs is a lot worse then just one.

This shit hasn't fully hit the fan yet but it's coming.

To my missing leg: I'm mad, and you know it.  That's why you didn't reach out to me at all today (we never even said hi to each other this morning before shit went down).  I'm mad because you screwed me over and are going to make my work life miserable the next few weeks.  Not like I didn't have enough stress as it is/can't afford more.  I needed you- not just for work load but for mental and emotional support. I knew I could talk to you about personal matters and shoot the breeze all at the same time.  I knew that you could do your job and do it well and do it with the deadlines we had.  She needed you too- she really needed you. Although you two bumped heads a lot... you two were a force to be reckoned with.  Finding a replacement leg is going to be rough...rougher then you know.  You aren't replaceable.  A knock off tripod leg will be placed in your hole and we'll learn to function again.

I hope you find happiness, I truly do.  

To blog, or not to blog?

Sometimes, blogging is hard.  I actually really enjoy it but I struggle with what I want to put out on the interwebs and what I don't.  I don't know who's eyes will see what.  The problem with that, however, is that the best blogs are honest and full of real shit.  Real life shit.  Yeah.... I'm not so sure I'm ready to go there yet!  

Here are some lighter things to fill the void!

• I'm moving soon- yay!  The act of moving sucks donkey balls, but we are fortunate to be able to upgrade to a better place. 
• It's only July but we are planning family Christmas at our place.  I. COULD. NOT. BE. MORE. EXCITED.
• I still have this crazy love/obsession for my dog.  I just can't help it!
• Work is... interesting.  We are super busy but they are cracking down on OT and expecting more work to get done in a day, with no extra help, and done perfectly.  Nice, eh?

Hopefully I can get back into this and post more!  I really, really want to!