Untitled, Part Deux

I cannot get my mind to stop going back to Friday.  As soon as I lay down to go to sleep, it's like my brain is a movie projected and the inside of my eye lids are the screen.  I've been sleeping terribly.  The hubs is doing everything that he can to be extra sweet and lovey to me.  He brought me home  Lungs by Florence and the Machine, which I love!  He doesn't want me to be sad or depressed or to keep thinking about it, what's done is done and it's in the past.  But how do you not?  As soon as I wake up I think about it and what happened and how this effects the future and well, basically everything.  I don't know how to turn my brain off.  I don't want to be sad in front of him, but sometimes I am just falling apart inside.  

The thing that hurts the most is knowing the ramifications of what being layed off right now does to us.  The hubs is much more optimistic than I am, and thank god for that.  To him it's just a blip in the road, a speed bump,  "it is what it is".  I, however, am much more doom and gloom about this.  I am very end-result focused, and he is more process and planning focused.  So all I can see right now is what I want, or my "end result", and how it's basically totally fucked.  It sucks.  I know I'm probably being a bit over dramatic.  But this is how I feel, so this is my reality at this moment.  

Saturday started out really rough.  I was in such a shocked state, I felt like a zombie walking around.  Hubs went snowboarding in the morning, and I actually got up and showered.  I started to work on my resume- something I hadn't done for years but thank god it was up to date minus the info from the job I just lost.  But then, something surprisingly awesome happened.  Hubs texted me saying the guys and significant others want to come over to watch football- was I up to it?  YES!  It was amazing.  Instantly I felt better and was smiling. Thank god I showered earlier, LOL.  

It was great having some people over and laughing and enjoying some company.  It felt so good!  I'm thankful to have the friends that we do.  I'm not a big fan of football as it is, nor do I really pay attention to it, but it didn't even matter.  

I've been applying to jobs like crazy, hoping that I can find something quickly and not need to use much or any of my severance, and especially not go on unemployment.  Save the unemployment for a later time!  Save the severance for unexpected expenses or hell just have a nice savings account!  

My emotions are definitely all over the place still; OK one minute and on the verge of tears the next.  It'll take some time but I know it will get better.  It's had to see that right now, but it really will all work out in the end.  If I end up having to go on unemployment, then thats what has to happen.  All the bills will still get paid, and that's the most important thing.  I had two phone interviews with one company yesterday, and  they sent me some information to look over regarding their company.  I called them back this morning and told them that yes I was very much interested.  They will call me before end of business today or tomorrow morning to set up a face to face interview... So this is absolutely good news!  

Please keep your fingers crossed, keep us in your prayers, send good thoughts, etc., etc. for our family.  We will take anything we can get!